Ask Sherlock
by Savvy0712
Summary: Here is a fanfiction where I answer YOUR questions in the character of Sherlock! You can also ask advice, give advice, or just comment on how superb Sherlock is! :) Please Read "Introduction" for further details.
1. Introduction

**NOTE: Sadly, I do not own Sherlock Holmes nor John Watson (or any other characters mentioned in "Sherlock Holmes"). All of the credit goes to the brilliant, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, and some credit must also go to Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss for creating the modernized version of "Sherlock Holmes", the amazing BBC program, "Sherlock", which is the adaption this fanfiction is based off of.**

Hi Everyone! :)

So, I decided to make a very unique fanfic...

I will answer any questions in the character of our own wonderfully rude and abrupt, Sherlock. All you must do, dear readers, is ask the questions! You can ask them in the reviews. I will do my very best to answer every single question as Sherlock would (excluding questions regarding his sexuality or relationship with John. Too much controversy in that area, sadly.)

I cannot wait to begin and I hope you will all enjoy reading!

Savvy

**PS Don't forget to ask a question (or two... or three)!**


	2. Question One

**"What exactly are your feelings about literature? You seem to enjoy music, just wondering if you had any other interests besides fighting crime."**

**-Anonymous**

Dear Anon,

In answer to your first question, it solely depends on your definition of "literature". If you are referring to novels written by Bronte and Austen, then I have no need, whatsoever for such useless nonsense. The never ending chit-chat of who is sleeping with whom, and how Mary is in love with Thomas, but to her utter despair, Thomas prefers Elsa, and other such ridiculous drama, irritates me to no end. How people can read such rubbish, is the one thing I cannot fully understand.

In short, fiction is a waste of time and brain space. Law textbooks, criminal biographies, and monographs on cigarette ashes lie more in my area of reading tastes.

For your second question, isn't it obvious? I wouldn't play the violin if I didn't enjoy music. Music soothes me and according to John, is a "healthier way to unwind, then cocaine and nicotine patches". I also enjoy experimenting with chemical substances (mainly poisons), and studying the many different organs, bones, and structures of the human body (anatomy), among many other interests.

Regards,

SH


	3. Question Two

**"Why is that sad cebu sad?"**

**-Wanderingmind911**

Dear Wanderingmind,

Perhaps the sad cebu saw how empty your brain is and was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

I rest my case.

Regards,

SH

**Note from Savvy: I apologize for Sherlock's rudeness. He hasn't had a client in a several days and is very uptight and extremely sarcastic (more so than usual.).**


	4. Question Three

**"****What is your opinion on all the fanfictions and fanart out there of you and John?"**

**- Lonelycloud951 **

****Dear Lonelycloud,

Most "fans" out in the big wide world have no idea of how amusing their fanfictions are to John and myself. Each night, I will borrow his laptop and search for the most absurd, far fetched story of fandom on the internet, and will laugh mockingly at the stupidity of the author.

I will refrain from naming any names.

However, there _are _some very realistic fanfictions that I have read, and those are the ones that I do not mind in the least.

I completely ignore fanart. Such a ridiculous waste of time.

Regards,

SH


	5. Comment One

**"oh. oh. OH. SHERLOCK, BE NICE!"**

**- Guest**

****Dear Guest,

"Nice" is not in my vocabulary.

Regards,

SH


	6. Question Four

**"H-h-h-hi S-s-s-herlock... Erm... I forgot what I wanted to say... OH OH! What are your views on the these two pairings: You and John Johnlock, and you and Moriarty Sheriarty. PLEASE TELL ME!"**

**-Raychaell Dionzeros **

****Dear Raychaell,

I would suggest you take a sedative first to calm your obviously rattled nerves.

In answer to your question, I do not particularly enjoy being "paired" with anyone.

My "love life" is my own personal business, and I do not enjoy it when obstinate people attempt to deduct (and miserably fail.) who I "love".

Regards,

SH


	7. Comment Two

**"Sorry about that but it was just, you're so cool! You're such a brilliant and awesome! Do you know that there's an entire FB page dedicated to you? Oh, the joys of being a fangirl..."**

**-Raychaell Dionzeros**

****Dear Raychaell,

I will overlook the bad grammar and take all that you said as compliments.

Yes, I was aware of the Facebook page.

I am sure it is a fangirl's paradise.

Regards,

SH


	8. Question Five

**Dear Sherlock,**

**Was Irene Adler a puzzle or were you just curious?**  
**And please, spare no detail however insignificant. By the way, can I have John's mobile number?**

**Cheers,**  
**Sparky**

****Dear Sparky,

Ms. Adler was an interesting case, for sure.

Only an extremely brazen and confident woman would appear before a strange man, wearing absolutely no clothes at all.

Naked women are rather hard to read, because of the absence of clothes, which is sometimes where the main source of my deductions lie.

I was also in a state of shock that a woman I had never met, spoken with, or heard from before, walked into the room completely nude.

She had attempted to outwit me on several occasions, drugged me, hijacked my mobile phone, faked her death, and many other irritating things.

She was intelligent, but not intelligent enough.

I am glad that my experience with Ms. Adler is finished. She was never a puzzle.

Nothing is ever a puzzle to me.

She was merely a relief from constant boredom.

To answer your second question, I am not at liberty to publicly advertise John's mobile number.

Regards,

SH


	9. Question Six

**Dear Sherlock,**

**Can you imagine a life now without John by your side?**

**Yours,**  
**Charlock**

Dear Charlock,

John is in fact a very good friend... perhaps, my only friend. (Don't tell him I said that...)

He is a well-learned doctor, and that occasionally helps while examining a dead corpse.

It is also nice to have a second opinion on everything.

John is amusing. I am always wondering what his dull little brain will think of next.

His blog _does _help business... although I would never admit it to him.

Regards,

SH


	10. Question Seven

**Hi sherlock this is Dark magic i wright storys about your arc enamy Moriarty but i have him with ocs and i like keepin you and John frinds would you read one of my storys**

**Dark magic aka stcy**

Dear Dark magic aka stcy,

If your stories contain as much horrendous grammar and spelling as your question did, then no.

However, I still might give them a try. They sound rather amusing.

Why, might I ask, do you write stories about Moriarty?

That destructive psychopath does not have even a quarter of the deduction and observation skills that I do.

Regards,

SH

**NOTE FROM SAVVY: Hey guys! Originally, In "Chapter One", I wrote that you could PM me to ask a question or give a comment, or you could ask in the reviews. Well, you will have to ask the questions in the reviews from now on, because I have been receiving very rude and inappropriate PMs, so I had to disable the PM feature... So I won't be able to get PMs anymore, for now. Anyways, thanks so much for reading! Keep asking questions! Sherlock is getting bored! :) **


	11. Comment Three

**Dear Sherlock **

**Not a question actually just something I'm starting to realized : don't you think that Sherlock has not fake his own death to protect John or any of his "friends" because (just imagine) : Moriarty said that he was going to kill John, Mrs Hudson etc etc just to force Sherlock to jump off the roof but there was no gunmen actually the one we saw were Sherlocks red (I can't remember how he refers to them) or policemen or just a montage with scene from others episodes idk. SO Sherlock knew Moriarty was lying but he did pretend to believe him in order to make him kill himself them he faked his own death just to get rid of all the journalists and paparazzi stuff ! **  
**the more I think about it the more upset i am :'( **

**Spence**

Dear Spence,

Excellent deduction.

Regards,

SH


	12. Comment Four

**Notdear Sherlock **

**you heartless machine ! you so do not deserve John as a friend ! he has always been so loyal and kind and understanding !**  
**I so hate you right now !**

**Spence**

****Dear Spence,

Thank you for your extremely intelligent input.

Regards,

SH


	13. Comment Five

**i appaligise for it but if you read me and the crimanl mind it will tell you about Staci its me putting myself with Moriarty and when it comes to this site im just not a verey relistic person**

**stacy**

****Dear stacy,

I will head over there now and read your recommended story. It sounds rather interesting.

Regards,

SH


	14. Comment Six

**SH **

**you're welcome. **  
**Stop pretending being more clever than anybody **

**Spence**

****Dear Spence,

I_ am _"more clever than anybody". So how then can I stop?

Regards,

SH

**Note from Savvy: Once again, I apologize for Sherlock's incessant rudeness, Spence. You know how he can be...**


	15. Question Eight

**SH,**

**I know you faked your death to protect John and the others from harm and I think that was a logical choice of action, but you also never though how your 'death' would effect John. Now onto my question; Do you enjoy pestering Anderson? And how come you have no respect for Mycroft? Even though he did give you life story to Moriarty. **

**P.S I dislike how people just paired you with John and Moriarty! They have no idea what you "love life" is.**

**-sherlockhomesgeek**

Dear sherlockhomesgeek,

I _did _think of how my "death" would affect John... I think about it each and every day.

Therefore do not accuse me of not contemplating about how John would feel about my "death".

For your first question, Anderson deserves the pestering.

I can't help the fact that he is such an absurd idiot.

Now, to answer your second question, there are situations and conversations that had occurred between Mycroft and myself when we were only boys, that no one knows about and no one ever will know about.

The members of the Holmes' family have always had a tendency to hold out extremely long grudges.

We are a stubborn group.

Also, I do not have much respect for my brother, because the possibilities of what he could do are endless!

Yet he chooses to sit back and waste his skills... all to be in leadership of the wretched Diogenes Club.

In reply to your post-script, thank you for respecting my privacy.

Regards,

SH

**Note from Savvy: Hey everyone! So I guess we are not allowed to do Q and A fanfics... oops... so I have to discontinue, "Ask Sherlock"... :( Thanks for all of the questions and comments! It has been really fun! I might start a website called "Ask Sherlock" to continue this fanfic. With your permission, I would like to start the website out with your questions and comments that I have already replied to, here, in this fanfic. Thanks for being an amazing group! 3**


	16. ANNOUNCEMENT!

Hey everyone!

Thank you so much for your continued support, questions, and lovely comments! You guys are amazing! I have enjoyed doing "Ask Sherlock", so much that I decided to create a website just for it! I am almost finished with it now...

**TO EVERYONE WHO HAS COMMENTED OR ASKED A QUESTION(S) IN THE REVIEWS:**

****Thanks sooo much for everything! I luv you guys!:) Could I have permission to add your question(s)/comments that I (in the character of Sherlock) replied to? I want to use them all to get my website started, so then I will already have some questions/comments for people to read. Just let me know if I have your permission, in the reviews section of this fanfic. Thank you!

When I am completely finished with my website, "Ask Sherlock", which is based off of this fanfic, then I will let everyone know in the "reviews" section and will attach the link to my website!

Savvy


	17. NEW WEBSITE!

**Ok guys!**

**The new website is up and running! I have used six of your posts! :) Please come visit my site and ask some more questions! Also, please spread the word! **

**I will post the link to the new "Ask Sherlock" website in the reviews section of this fanfic!**

**Thanks!**

**Savvy**


	18. Ask Sherlock needs YOUR questions!

**Hey guys! Apparently the link didn't work out... its called (the "dot" is a period. the web address wouldnt show up if i put .com, for some reason).**  
**Please visit the website and ask the questions in the "ask me anything" section or u can email me and ask your questions at askshrlk gmaildotcom (once again, it is just .com, but it wouldn't show up if i wrote it like that.). **  
**Also, if you guys ask me a question or comment, please expect your question and my answer to be posted on my website! I will no longer answer any questions, here at fanfiction... only on my website or through my email! "Ask Sherlock" also has a Google plus profile now!**

**Savvy**


	19. LAST ANNOUNCEMENT ON MY NEW WEBSITE!

**EVERYONE JUST IGNORE EVERYTHING I WROTE IN THE REVIEWS AND IN THE "NEW WEBSITE" CHAPTER OF THIS FANFIC! :)**

**I just could not explain myself properly! lol**

**To read information about my new "Ask Sherlock" website, please view my profile. It has all of the information you need about my website on there, along with the link and my email. **

**I will not answer any more questions in the reviews of this fanfic since I have my website now. If you have any questions to ask "sherlock" please visit my profile page on for more info on how to ask your questions!**

**Thanks for bearing with me!**

**Savvy :)**


End file.
